Examples of patriarchal socialization, from Nonviolent Global Liberation: 1. Mistake in communication. Not understanding or hearing well and suppose what the other person is saying, or go to own thoughts about what the other person is wanting to say.) 2. Disconnection from the feelings.  3. Losing trust in others, losing trust in life. 4. Start an unspoken conversation and feel more uncomfortable later. 5. When we hear something about us (like for example "this is unforgivable"). The person that hears it cannot forgive herself. She stays with herself, not with who spoke. Even if she acknowledges that, feeling guilt, she cannot be with you.  6. To hear an unspoken conversation either as a demand or an attack. 7. Dynamic of not speaking the unspoken conversation, especially in families. 1. Relationship between adults and children. (power over) 2. Internalization of children when not being seen/heard.  3. Anger of children when not being seen/heard. 4. Unconsciously choice between the triangles of security or  freedom 9. Having suffocating thoughts about who we are. 10. Feeling lonely. 11. Giving advice when other person is in distress 12. The thought that someone in distress needs to be taken out of that experience. Instead of giving company and staying with, exploring together. 13. Feeling lonely (deeper meaning, not only about not being able to hug or stay close to people). 14. Someone is having a hard time. 1. Someone gives support.  2. The first person does not trust the person giving support, despite the support they gave.  3. Then they come to a situation that the one that is giving support is asked to remove herself from the group. 16. Expect someone to trust you without knowing the history of loss of trust that this person has experienced throughout his life. 17. When angry or ashamed, not having the capacity to be with the other person.  18. feedback comparison (Comparison among Arnina’s comments); 19. feedback assumptions (interpreting the comment as something “bad”); 20. fear of / not being used to requesting for more clarity (“I wonder, Arnina, why you are saying that you wouldn't say that.”). Would the clarity request expose / hurt  me (even) more?; 21. fear of sounding confrontative (because deep down  we sense we may disclose our unpleasant feelings), or of sounding inconvenient (because we don’t want to occupy the session with a personal issue), etc. 22. Use talks from old consciousness and use force to change. --> Observe (as action to start a new journey) 23. Not being able to do what we want, all the time, blaming oneself for it and avoiding mourning. 24. Chase validation and permission from everyone. 25. Self doubt. Believing narratives are more true than my truth. 26. Need to change in order to be accepted and loved. 27. Disappointed with myself for not accomplishing my dreams and not wanting to drop the dream. 28. Fear of losing myself. Not to put boundaries, put the other person above me. Hard to stick with a NO to others. 29. Hold self judgement almost constantly when talking to someone. 30. Judging myself for not being the best of me all the time.  31. Because of trauma, try so hard to get your own needs met and forget about other people's needs, desires and experiences. 32. Fear of being in community (profess x act) 1. Loneliness of children. (When we don't get the support and recognition we need, loneliness gets exponential. You have no one to go to.) 34. There is a cost if I express myself.  1. Fear of being judged, rejected. (visit this trembling place inside) 36. Collective cultural expectations and influence on the individual (ex.: Japan culture) 1. Fear of being outcast, so I give up my freedom of expression. 38. When wounded, I will show you that with rebelion (this is not freedom). When I take care of myself and others I will be in choice and freedom. 39. The fear of not being wanted, of being ignored, rejected, abandoned if I decide to be honest. 40. Not understanding something new/different and wanting to stay with it with an open heart. 41. Not able to connect with the body (emotions). Not knowing what is going on for me. Repressed/frozen energy, numbing pain. 42. Feel alone, isolated. 43. Manage the impact of what I am saying. 44. Fear of being rejected, judged. 45. Inspiration, hope comes when we see others meeting itself / challenges with gentleness. When we see the primal child / innocent child in others. 46. We forget we have a choice, and we get trapped in the FFF reactions. 47. We invest a lot in thinking that hating things about ourselves will change it - if we judge enough, it will change.. It doesn’t work. Choose where we put our energy. Breathe. Notice where consciousness is pulling us, and come back. 48. We need to release "unserving" feelings to…  49. Holding on to the belief around: caring for others means that I need to hide.  50. Believing that hiding is safe. 51. Making myself small. (I don't have power to be anything). 52. I am not good enough, not capable enough, not competent enough. 53. I am not allowed to be in a partnership and feel that I have the right to reciprocity. 54. Ashamed to speak out in groups / feel overwhelmed in body when doing it. (body believing the thoughts that it is not safe to speak out). 55. I should be able to feel grateful for all I have (and don't feel it). 56. I should be a good girl, always. 57. Having the thought that what I am passionate about is not important. (Others are more important). Others come before me. 58. Asking myself what is wrong with me. Digging in what is not good and not paying attention to what is good now in my life. 59. Even identifying our patterns, the fear appears (and the body feels really unsafe). 60. Think that I depend on others (glue to specific person/strategy). Hold the fear of the belief (not the reality). If this strategy does not work, I think I am not worthy, I don't deserve to exist. 61. Believe my thoughts that others should act differently.