## Metadata - Author: [[Bryan Caplan]] - Full Title: Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids - Category: #books ## Highlights - It’s easy to change a child but hard to keep him from changing back. Instead of thinking of children as lumps of clay for parents to mold, we should think of them as plastic that flexes in response to pressure—and pops back to its original shape once the pressure is released. ([Location 174](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=174)) - Children cost far less than most parents pay, because parents overcharge themselves. You can have an independent life and still be an admirable parent. Before you decide against another child, then, you owe it to yourself to reconsider. If your sacrifice is only a fraction of what you originally thought, the kid might be a good deal after all. ([Location 185](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=185)) - When people weigh the pros and cons of another child, they often suffer from myopia. Literally, myopia is another word for nearsightedness; if you clearly see only what’s right in front of your nose, you’re myopic. When I talk about myopia, I’m not talking about bad eyesight. I’m talking about bad foresight: focusing too much on the short-run costs of kids and forgetting the big picture. ([Location 202](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=202)) - When you shop for food, you buy enough to last until your next trip to the store. You don’t leave the store empty-handed because you ate a big lunch. Similarly, when you decide how many kids to have, you should have enough to last you during your forties, sixties, and eighties. You shouldn’t stop having kids merely because your two-year-old won’t let you sleep. Basing your long-run decisions on your short-run crankiness doesn’t make sense. ([Location 218](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=218)) - Love tends to run downhill; as an old saying ruefully observes, “One parent can care for five children, but five children cannot care for one parent.” ([Location 245](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=245)) - if someone asks “What’s in parenthood for me?” you have to highlight kids’ cool features: They’re ridiculously cute; they’re playful; they look like you; they share half your genes; it’s all part of the circle of life. ([Location 252](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=252)) - The negative effect of kids on happiness is robust but small. In the General Social Survey, a massive, decades-long study of Americans, every child makes you about 1 percentage point less likely to call yourself “very happy.” The difference is real, but you need a statistical microscope to detect it. Married people, in contrast, are 18 percentage points more likely to be very happy. If you’re married with children, you’re far more likely to be happy than if you’re single and childless. Taken too literally, the statistics imply that married couples require over a dozen kids to feel worse than childless singles. ([Location 329](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=329)) - By the standards of the Sixties, modern dads do enough child care to pass for moms—and modern moms do enough child care to compete for Mother of the Year. Kid time has crowded out couple time: Parents in 2000 spent about 25 percent fewer hours with each other than they did in 1975. ([Location 416](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=416)) - The smart disciplinary adjustment to make is just the wisdom of the ages: Clarity, Consistency, and Consequences. Adopt firm rules, clearly explain the penalties for breaking the rules, and impose promised penalties to the letter. ([Location 533](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=533)) - When you’re trying to improve your kid’s behavior, other authorities—teachers, grandparents, nannies, and so on—often frustrate you by undermining your rules. What good is it to practice the Three Cs if no one else does? Selfishly speaking: Plenty of good. Kids quickly discover that different people have different rules. If the typical teenager treated his friends the way he treats his parents, he wouldn’t have any friends. A central criticism of behavioral parent training is that it “only” improves children’s behavior in the home. But an optimist would draw a different lesson: Parental discipline is enough to make children treat their parents decently. If other authorities in your child’s life have lower standards, that’s largely their problem. ([Location 544](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004OA64Q6&location=544))